Hey, did you hear about the church meeting we had last night about Pastor Jesus?[...] Well, the whole thing is about his sermons. Truth is, we just can’t take it anymore! Haven’t you been frustrated too?[...] Actually, you can hardly call most of his ramblings sermons anyway. All the guy does is tell stories, really! [...] Actually, the real problem is not so much the stories—I think we could handle some of that stuff—it’s that he hardly ever explains what he’s talking about! [...] Don’t you see, he’s isolating everybody in the church with this stuff! Haven’t you noticed what’s going on around here? We’ve already lost several families. We lost a whole load of people after Jesus preached that freaky sermon about “eating his flesh and drinking his blood” or whatever. [...] If this keeps up, there’s going to be nobody left. And the worst thing is, he isn’t at all apologetic about what he’s doing. [...] I’ll tell you right now, this whole attitude of his is just plain wrong. [...]pretty quick here, Jesus is going to be looking for his next church.
Story by Clint Heacock